What is it about cats that captures our heart and hurls us into grief when we lose them?
Even as they leave a legacy of scratched furniture, rug stains, and disrupted sleep, our temporary annoyance is surpassed by an enduring affection and connection—and a heart full of grief when they pass.
For some people, bonding with a cat happens with greater delight than bonding with our fellow humans.
Cats have an uncanny ability to receive, and they can offer us less complicated relationships.
This may seem odd to those who have never experienced a cat as a family member. But as we discover what helps us bond with an irresistible feline, we might better understand the ease of connection, and discover what might help us become a more loving human being.
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Even as we may sometimes ignore their bids for attention, delay feeding them, or display occasional annoyance, our friendly feline has the resilience to forgive and move on. They’re not acquainted with the human capacity to hold a grudge.
As partners become familiar with each other, there are inevitably difficult and unpleasant experiences that get lodged in our memory banks.
Humans tend to mentally chew on things. We formulate opinions and judgments about the person who “wronged” or insulted us.
We become cool, distant, and store grievances; we’re reluctant to return to a simple openness that would once again welcome our partner back into our hearts.
Cats are adept at living in the present moment.
When we break trust with a cat, such as not feeding them on their accustomed schedule, they might sulk—or pee on the rug—but then they get over it.
Many annoyances that arise in our relationships are about the small stuff. If our partner is late, tells a bad joke, or misplaces our favorite cutting knife, we might be annoyed in the moment. But how long do we hold onto our resentment or hurt?
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To let go of small annoyances, we need to connect with ourselves deeply, resource ourselves and find the resilience to return to the present moment. For humans, this requires a certain amount of work, which a cat is not troubled with; they live in the present.
One thing we might learn from our treasured feline is to keep renewing ourselves by returning to the present moment—relishing the Power of Now, as author Echart Tolle puts it.
Like humans, some cats are more accessible than others.
But if you’ve lived with one who is adept at receiving and giving affection, who delights you with spontaneous antics that brings a smile to your face, and who charms you with their hypnotic purring and cuddly presence, then you’ve been blessed with a connection that is irreplaceable.
In summary, we can learn from cats to live more in the present moment, forgive, and let go of small annoyances.
Excerpts from an article written by John Amodeo, Ph.D., MFT
at psychologytoday.com
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